You simply lose.

Sometimes the pain is too much that you dont even realize it exists. It flows with you in your blood. You breathe it with the air you breathe. You dont know when you end up crying and sleeping with it. You see it in your dream not like, it’s a nightmare but like something you meet everyday. Like you have been best friends for ages. It let’s you do things you can’t even think of doing in your sane self. It allows you to cheat yourself and eat tons of ice cream.It tends to get into your head like a virus which has no antivirus software. It pinches like a thorn, tiny but bleeding profusely. Yes it does hurt that bad. So much that you fail to believe you exist. You forget your mere existence. Everything is linked to that one thing and no matter how much you try it stays there like a magnet sticking to you like you are some iron chip. And its then you lose on to yourself. You lose on people you love and who love you. You lose on yourself. You lose the feeling of feeling nothing. You end up as a trash can kept on the corner of the room . You aren’t disgusted. You are just ignoring the pain and the reason because its better than accepting the defeat which kissed your heart. You lose not to someone. You lose to your heart. You lose as a whole.

You simply lose.
-Aprajita